it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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