why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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