I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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