there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
