yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
