I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
