i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
