yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
