How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
