Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize