I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you win again, gameday.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
