Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
