she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
