Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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