why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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