people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
