there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
