there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
