that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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