jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
