I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize