If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
