No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
