As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
