seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
