All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
