thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
