he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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