so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
