Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Alive.
So much puke
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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