i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
