READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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