So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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