get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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