508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
