i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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