but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
