I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You are the jesus of drinking
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