I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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