I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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