OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
