Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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