Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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