I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
