i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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