He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
