If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
