I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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