We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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