The beer is more important than you right now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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