We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
