why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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