Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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