Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
