I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
