i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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