It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
