I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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