You made me cry and you don't even care
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
