Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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